The well-worn wooden table held the usual trappings of dinner: juicy steaks, perfectly crisped potatoes, garden-fresh tomatoes, some sweet corn. It was a repast that mirrored myriad others in the past decades, a comforting reminder that some places are capable of a repetition that never becomes tiresome. But, this time in this place was very, very different. She was not around, was not seated to my right, her witty quips not there to broaden my smile and warm my heart. They were forever silenced.
There are places that we routinely occupy: offices, beds, backyards, the end barstool at the local watering hole. Imagining a composite snapshot of ourselves at different times in these specific places is a fascinating thought exercise. The geographic variable remains constant, while everything else shifts: the company, our mood, our appearance, the conversations. As time marches inexorably forward, it is almost like we are stationary, rooted in that particular place. While we may not be perceived as moving, we surely hope that we are growing, learning, becoming a better version of ourselves.
When I revisit a place that had significant import in a prior phase of my life, whether it was an old office or a college dorm or a ski run that I used to hit all of the time, I take a moment to compare my current self with the one that inhabited that space years ago. Sometimes I lament the trajectory that took me from that spot, believe that I could be more footloose as I was in younger days. Or, happily, I will imagine myself as a freshman sitting in my new room and amaze myself at the maturing I have done in the (approaching) two decades hence. The place itself becomes a sort of time machine, without the need for a flux capacitor.
The interval of a place in one’s life need not be long in order to be powerful. When you’re on the beginning of a skin track, with a long slog ahead of you, the endeavor seems incredibly onerous. Or, setting out from the trailhead on your bike, you cannot imagine how you are going to cover all of those miles and vertical feet. But, inevitably (hopefully!), you return back over the same ground, mission completed, powder shredded, big ride done. There is a stark contrast between the trepidation and apprehension that you exhibited on the outbound journey and the joy and feeling of accomplishment that is plastered across your face on the flip side. It is an important lesson: embrace the challenge, because the uphill is never as bad as it seems or, if it is, at least there is a downhill to make you giddy.
The converse is instructive as well. If you set off from the bottom of the journey like a lit firecracker with no forethought, no gear, no clue, you may be lucky to retread the same trail on the back end. If you do make it back from the woods alive, you may be despondent to compare your formerly eager countenance to the bedraggled shell that limps back to the place from which you left. Next time that you venture to this spot, you will likely be more conscious of the ramifications of the trip and less spontaneous and excitable. To have the mental image of the place in your mind’s eye is to have a bookmark highlighting an important passage in the book of your life.
Everyone needs their special place or places. It may be an art gallery, a library nook, a trading floor, a granite spire, a left-peeling surf break, your grandmother’s kitchen. The type is unimportant, as long as it is important to you. It is a place to call your own, to hold dear and as constant as possible, to let the crash of time wash over you, to commune with the spirits that have previously inhabited it, your former self included. In our society’s rush to expand, to conquer, to progress, we must remember to respect the sanctity of our fellow humans’ places. The value of these places cannot be measured in currency, but their destruction can bankrupt.
With luck, we may be able to keep our places for a good long while, but we will never stay ahead of time. In this milieu, the present takes on an outsized importance and the inclination to put off a project or an effort or a thank you or a hug until an indeterminate point in the future seems incredibly foolhardy. Now is the time. No matter the place.